Day 10 (10 GDoC)

I hope you all had a merry Christmas. I know how stressful it can be, gathering your loved ones under the guise of holiday love and positioning them perfectly around the tree so that your mass sacrifice to Ba’al goes off without a hitch. Hopefully you remembered to set out plenty of fake presents to […]

Day Nine (10GDoC)

Happy Christmas Eve! Remember to leave booze and tacos out for Santa tonight. “I Saw Mommy Killed By Santa Claus” (To the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”) I saw Mommy killed by Santa Claus, Her muffled screams were filled with horrid fright. His knife was thrusting deep as she was slaughtered […]

Day Eight (10GDoC)

Which do you prefer, spiked eggnog or piked heads? Two days ’til Christmas. Nine days ’til 2020. 313 days til Halloween. Enjoy 🙂 “Lone Survivor Boy” (To the tune of “Little Drummer Boy”) “Don’t scream,” they said to me, pa rum pum pum pum. My eyes they forced to see, pa rum pum pum […]

Day Seven (10GDoC)

As if endless Hallmark Christmas Specials weren’t enough to drive you insane, I’m sure you’ve been inundated with Mariah Carey’s “hit” Christmas song. Personally, I think my version is better. Too bad Walmart won’t play it over their speakers on loop… “All I Bring for Christmas (is Doom)” (To the tune of “All I […]

Day Six (10GDoC)

“Dark Visions of The Lord Aeglus” (To the tune of “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” I’m screaming through the night of Aeglus, The fiery lord from down below. With his thousand eyes glaring and teeth made for tearing, He’ll bring carnage in the snow. Stop fleeing from our Lord Aeglus, Herald of The One […]

Day Five (10GDoC)

“Cutting a corpse into into several pieces is a good way to make one gift look like several gifts! It’s a good thing.” – Martha Stewart I’m almost finished with my Christmas shopping. Also, the apartment above mine is suddenly vacant. That’s not decay you smell from under the wrapping paper; it’s Christmas spirit 🙂 […]

Day Four (10GDoC)

About to board my flight to Vegas. It’s just a layover, but still, it’s a first for me. In the meantime, here’s a short song about the spirit of Christmas….VENGEANCE! 🙂 “Fresh Out of Hell” (To the tune of “The First Noel”) Fresh out of Hell, a corpse has escaped from the cheap wooden […]

Day Three (10GDoC)

I just drove eight hours from Los Angeles to San Francisco, and now that I’m hopelessly addicted to Peaky Blinders, I can’t be trusted to spend much time writing these intro paragraphs. But the first step to addiction is admitting it, so…progress? Remember to hang lights on your front porch for Cthulhu’s imminent arrival 🙂 […]

The 10 Gory Days of Christmas (Day Two)

In the spirit of celebrating a holiday centered around a half-naked chiseled guy who got whipped and nailed in a non-sexy way, Day Two of The 10 Gory Days of Christmas is in pretty poor taste. If you’ve read my work, this really shouldn’t bother you. Much love from California 🙂 “Gacy the Clownish Strangler” […]

10 Gory Days of Christmas (Day One)

Other than Halloween, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. The holiday often makes its way into various projects of mine, regardless of whether or not these projects ever see the light of day. Last year, I had the idea of re-writing “The Night Before Christmas” for my first book signing, and I loosely […]