Okay, so this is a bit different.

This is a post which has NOTHING to do with my books, NOTHING to do with my upcoming events, and NOTHING to do with horror in general.

This is a post about Avengers: Endgame. Absolutely NO SPOILERS ahead (I’ll do the best I can), but I just have to talk about it to the world in general, being the annoying little Millennial I am.

So…I saw Avengers: Endgame last night at midnight. This time slot wasn’t by choice; the 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. showings at the Sandusky movie theater sold out weeks in advance, and since I had no firm plans set in place, I had to wing it as far as getting tickets. Since I’m someone who strongly prefers to see movies alone rather than with a group, only my own sleep schedule was made to suffer, so the losses were very minimal.

I saw the ending.

I wept.

I laughed.

I laughed until I wept.

I wept until I laughed.

This is the quintessential “perfect” movie experience, at least by my own estimation. The last decade of MCU movies has garnered an army of fans who are invested in these characters, characters who have become avatars for our own heightened ideals for ourselves. We want these character to get an ending worthy of their history, and we want every second of this three hour finale to count for something.

Let me put it bluntly: this movie absolutely succeeds in every way.

The hype is fucking real.

There will always be fans who are hard to please, supposed “fans” who bitch about every little nitty-gritty thing until they’re blue in the face, all because “I read the comics and therefore my idea of a good movie is more important than everyone else’s!”

Fuck those fucking people. They can all suck the mighty throbbing cock of the collective MCU.

I’m just here to give you an idea of my own experience with this finale. To put it in a way I imagine Doctor Strange would tell it: “I’ve looked at millions of variations of how “Avengers: Endgame” could end. Only one ending could please even the shittiest fan sitting alone in his mother’s basement.”

THIS is that ending. THIS is the ending the franchise deserves, and everything after this in the MCU will be merely a sequel to the brilliance that started with Iron Man (or The Incredible Hulk, if you want to count that piece of crap).

If you don’t already have your tickets, I urge you to invest three hours of your day to go watch Avengers: Endgame before one of your lesser friends spoils everything for you. It’s a masterclass in how to wrap up a series, and it’s something I will probably watch a dozen more times in pursuit of that same “high” I got the first time watching it.

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